5 Things To Know Before You Remarry

If you know you would like to remarry someday or have someone in mind to say "I do" to, keep the following tips in mind. All are designed to help your second marriage be a successful one that will not have you visiting your divorce lawyer yet again. Read on and be enlightened:

Wait Before You Date

Generally speaking, it is a good idea to wait two to three years after divorce or the death of your spouse before you remarry. Getting into a new relationship too soon can halt the healing process and make it difficult to fully move on and enjoy your new relationship. Give yourself plenty of time to heal so you can give your new spouse the attention he or she deserves.

Date For At Least Two Years

Date your prospective spouse for at least two years before remarrying. This gives you enough time to truly get to know the person and decide whether being together is something you both want. Keep in mind that dating is hardly the same thing as remarried life, and jumping in too quickly can result in many unpleasant problems. If children are involved, you will need to spend some time with them as well. Keep in mind younger children tend to attach to stepparents quicker than teens do.

Let Your New Family Develop

Do not force your new family to come together before they are ready. Give everyone time to get to know each other and settle into their new roles. Be as patient as possible and remember there are no quick fixes. It could take five years or more for your blended family to do just that--blend.

Don't Expect Your New Spouse To Feel The Same Way About Your Kids As You Do

Remember, your spouse probably isn't going to feel the way you do about your kids, at least not right away. Prepare for potential disagreements about parenting styles and decisions, particularly if the ex-spouses are heavily involved.

Let The Kids Know It's Okay

Let your children and your spouse's kids know it is okay to feel confused about what is happening, that it is normal to feel sad about the divorce or death of a parent, and that taking sides is unnecessary. Keep the lines of communication open!