Irrespective of how many top tips for stepfamilies you get yourself accustomed with and how strictly you adhere to a blended family guide, there are numerous challenges that would shape up as barriers in your way to become a family that gels well.
Couples may get divorced because their relationship hits a dead end or if they develop certain irreconcilable differences. A parent might remarry in case of an unfortunate demise of the co-parent. In case of a remarriage, it is the kids that are subjected to the most dramatic changes. They might find it extremely difficult to bond with their stepdad or stepmom. Naturally, there are numerous barriers that have to be overcome to build a happy family.
Till then, it is a work in progress.
Blended family tips can help you to get started with developing cordial bonds with the stepchildren. But this act is not the sole responsibility of either the parent or the stepparent. Both have to take proactive steps to make the kids feel comfortable and positive about the developments. Neither the parent nor the stepparent should be indulging in demeaning the biological parent of the kids, undermining the role of the stepparent or fueling the sadness of the kids post divorce or remarriage.
Undermining the importance of the biological parent or the stepparent, rewarding sadness of the kids by becoming overprotective and seeing no faults on their part and trying to behave in an unnatural way to create a world of make-believe would all backfire while overcoming the barriers is a work in progress.
Both, the parent and the stepparent, must take positive and constructive steps to make the children feel positive. Kids should be cared for, given their space and the family should indulge in activities as a family. The kids were not party to the decision of remarrying or in the choice of the new partner their parent had opted for but they can always be party to decisions taken thereafter. Weekly or weekend routines, what the family should do on holidays or when there are festivities and special occasions can always have the kids as the decisive players. There has to be an effort to build a collective future and everyone has to be a stakeholder.
Neither can the stepparent be ignored nor the biological parent who has been divorced or is not alive anymore. The kids should feel accepted and so should the stepparent. The biological parent who has remarried should also strike a balance between living a new life with his or her new partner while not forgetting that the kids are an equal priority.
What do you think? Are we missing any key barriers to building a successful stepfamily?
Article ListThe Family Medallion® Wedding
Melding Together a Blended Family
Bonding with your new blended family