Marrying a person who has lost a spouse can be challenging. Help yourself deal with the emotions and issues that could possibly affect your new marriage with the following tips and advice. Focus on what you are doing: starting a a new family!
Embrace The Past
Stop trying to run from the past--embrace it instead. If you ignore or otherwise remain in denial of your husband's grief, you will only prolong his recovery. Allow him to talk about it whenever he wants, and always keep the conversation open and honest. Your relationship will be a lot happier if you keep the lines of communication open.
Accept That He Will Always Love His First Wife
Realize that your marriage is not one of two hearts, but of three. Your husband will always have love for the woman he lost, and trying to fight it will do you no good. Remember that the love for his late wife does not mean he loves you any less--after all, you are the woman helping heal his heart!
Forget Fighting Over Material Goods
Refrain from resenting photos of your husband's late wife and any other of her/their possessions he still has. You will only come off as petty, and it will hurt your relationship. Blend your households in a healthy way by reaching compromises about what you're keeping and what you're donating or otherwise doing away with. Remember that you have special items from the past as well--would you want to give them all up?
Be Patient With His Family
Stay patient with your husband's family--they may not be super-accepting at first, but as long as you are kind and welcoming, they will come around.
Don't Compare Yourself To The Late Wife
Try not to compare yourself to your husband's late wife--it is a waste of time. Comparisons are "odious" as the old saying goes! Your husband is never going to forget his first wife. What is important is that he has moved on with you--so enjoy your life together!
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