After enduring a heartbreaking divorce and finally finding a real loving relationship, the first urge can often entail rushing into remarriage and melding a blended family. However, it is important to first lay the foundation and give everyone involved in this new relationship time to adjust. If you take the process slow, you will ensure that your blended family is completely bonded and on board with the idea of marriage.
Marriage is a huge step that should not be taken lightly, especially if the happiness of an entire blended family is at stake. Second marriages with children can be filled with potential roadblocks, but if you follow these helpful adjustment tips, you can be well on your way to a family wedding ceremony.
Lessen the Adjustments for Children
Children are often emotionally fragile and can only handle so much change at one time. Blended families will most likely succeed if at least two years are spent adjusting to the idea of a blended family. Therefore, it is recommended that a couple waits at least two years to become remarried. This two year period is critical and gives young children enough time to get used to all the adjustments that come with a new blended family.
Don’t Pressure Your Children and Partner to Forge a Bond
Let your new partner build a relationship at a rate that both your child and partner are comfortable with. First they have to get to know each other and over time love and affection will follow.
Discuss Parenting Approaches Before Remarriage
Children can always be a source of friction if you and your partner are not on the same page with your parenting tactics. Discuss how you will parent your children before you remarry and make adjustments to your parenting style before you walk down the aisle for a second time. Don’t allow your children to associate parenting changes with your partner, make sure that you are seen as the one that is initiating change.
Situations will inevitably arise where you are put in the middle between your partner and your child, don’t get pressured into picking sides. Make sure that both know how important they are in your life and try to help them find common ground.
Respect is the most important component of any healthy blended family. All members must respect each other and make conscious decisions to put the needs of the children first. Everyone may not necessarily like each other, but everyone must respect one another. This will lead to a blended family that is poised for success.
Article ListThe Family Medallion® Wedding
Melding Together a Blended Family
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